Susie says,
KAYA!Happy Anniversary Kaya!
Here's my take on the challenge. All my friends and relatives know that I wanted to get pregnant for 8 years that I am married, what they didn't know was how i felt and did all these years, I cannot voice it out so I wrote it down on my blog 2 years ago. This challenge is "easy" as I copied my past blog entry. If anyone is going through this challenge, have faith, there is hope.
Symbol: I chose flowers as I know there is hope every time I see a flower blooms.
Journaling reads: I was married for eight blissful years, I was not giving up hope that one day God will grant me the blessing to have a child. It was a struggle month after month, year after year, I was not just facing the challenges of medical problem, but also have to face real challenges socially, emotionally and psychologically. I had to constantly put up with remarks like,"Still no baby? You are not young anymore." Most often people ask WHY I am not pregnant yet, at the back of my mind, I want to shout, "I don't know, the doctor doesn't know it too." I have heard numerous comments, some of it were below the belt. A religious Aunt asked me if I still know how to pray, oh well, she thinks that not having a baby is God's punishment, and thought that if you pray for something, God is gullible to grant your prayer in a snap. I had never prayed in my life like when I was in TTC (trying to conceive) stage. And the mother of all insensitive questions, "Are you doing it correctly?" It is exasperated answering people that we were working on it.
Childbearing is a personal matter. If you are already a parent, remember that childless couples are happiest when left alone. We do not need you to advise us on childbearing techniques, or know when you intend to have your next baby when we are still struggling for a hit. I DO NOT WANT YOUR SYMPATHY, I NEED YOU TO BE SENSITIVE. Maybe my husband and I had a mission to fulfill to each other, that is why God bless us to have our own time spent together for a longer time, mind you, not having a baby yet after marriage is something, we spend quality time together, travel anytime, anywhere, we can go out at the spur of the moment. I don't envy those who had baby after their marriage.
No family members or friends know about what I have been through, the difficulty we dealt with infertility and childlessness. You can call me desperate who would give anything and everything to have a baby. I had tried for many years but to no avail, I had exhausted the full spectrum of medical science...IUIs, IVFs (note the plurals). IVF is only for the patient and the brave. Patient because the process takes months, and brave not so much because of all the injections you have to undergo, but because the results are not always positive. Your butt and tummy receive enough shots to fill up a connect-the-dots page, not to mention that I always poke at the wrong vein so I ended up with lots of bruises in my tummy. You have to accept and be prepared for the outcome. I've never cried in my life like I did when my treatments failed. IVF drains both your energy and your pocket. We spent a fortune on this. This is the part of my life that has taught me a lot of lessons, how to stand up and try again after each failure. I was holding out for a miracle.
They say if your problem is not having a child, then you are doing well with your life. If I count our blessings, it is overflowing! It is demeaning to complain to God on what I have accomplished, I have a responsible and loving husband, living a comfortable life, nice home, having lived in different countries, money to spend on whatever we need, good health, friends in almost every corner of the world. We cannot ask for more. Having a baby is a bonus for us. I absolutely have no regrets if this was my fate and destiny. I will choose the same path if given the chance, I sound like I am a phony, but that's the truth. If not for TTC, I will not be the same person as I am now - stronger, prayerful, appreciates life to the fullest, and thankful for all the small and big blessings. I had done my best and i leave the rest in God's hands. On the last month that I was ready to give up hope, I became pregnant naturally, all goes well with my pregnany and birth, we now have a happy, healthy, God-fearing baby. People now ask me when will I have baby #2.......oh well.......c'est la vie.
Small stickers text: Winners never quit and quitters never win. No Pain, No gain.
Materials used: MM papers, MM sports stickers, American craft stickers for title and glitter glue. Sketch copied in Becky Fleck PageMaps' book.
Abou
t ME:I'm Susie, 38 years old, living in Hongkong, married for 10 years, with 18-month-old son. Been scrapping since 2002. SAHM with part-time job as a mystery shopper.
