To Christina, age 18...

Marissa says, KAYA!

Thank you, Lee, I was really challenged. It was fun. I still have a difficult time expressing my feelings for the whole world to see so I came up with this. Still what I feel but one that won't make me cringe sa hiya [-:





Journaling:

Dear Babycakes, I really hope there won’t be a reason for you to read this letter. The fact that you are reading it now means you are on the verge of doing something I would be so nervous to know about. Sometimes you’d rather not hear what I have to say when you have set your mind on doing something. So whether I am still around to nag you or not, this letter is here to nag you again and again, and don’t you dare put it down without reading until the end where it tells you of my feelings for you.

When I was pregnant with you I couldn’t wait to see you and hold you in my arms, 12 years after the birth of your brother. My Little Girl… from the very beginning I felt you are going to be just like me, stubborn and strong-willed. The tighter I held on to you, the stronger you wanted to pull away.

Now I know what they mean when they said having a child is like having your heart roam outside your body. That is exactly how I feel ever since you started walking on your own. A wee bit at a time you insisted on having your way. I was a nervous wreck [even though I didn’t show it] when you started to drive at age 16; I still am; especially when you stay out late until curfew hanging out with friends at the movies or at their homes. I am thankful for the phone calls to let me know where you are and how you are doing at the moment and I hope you will continue to do that even when you are already married and with kids.

I hope that despite the times I say “no way on earth” to your plans and ideas, you will never tire coming to me to let me know about them. You do not need to ask me for permission but I would love that you do, even if it were just pretend. It makes me feel important that I am always a big and important part of your life.

So please keep coming to me [and Papa] for anything that will affect your life [and my life, for that matter]. Such as dyeing your long black hair golden blonde [remember I told you your black roots will show in less than a week and it’s going to look so weird]. Thank you for listening to me. When you said you were going to have your nose pierced or to get a tattoo [remember I said think of the future when you are a part of the corporate world, would it affect how you present yourself?] Thank you for listening to me. When you announced you are not going to attend your prom this year but plan to go sky diving instead… ANAK!!!! Naman! Ay naku, Ginuo! Mamamatay ako! [It’s good you still understand Tagalog] to which you replied, “But I’m the one going to jump out of the plane, not you.” To which I replied, “Ay, naku! Mamamatay ako sa gagawin mong yan. Kanino ka ba nagmana? Wala sa lahi natin ang lumulundag out of the plane! Strapped inside the plane, yes. Pero jumping out of the plane? Hindi tayo lahing supermen, anak! Maghunos dili ka!”

But seriously speaking, any time you feel like jumping out of the norm, please come to me first. You may not like what you’ll hear but please listen to my yada-yada with an open heart and give it some thought. I have lots of things to share. Remember what they taught you in pre-school: stop, look, listen? This doesn’t just pertain to the traffic lights. It pertains to each decision you are to make in your life.

I love you dearly, Babycakes. You may see me as mean & KJ but believe me, I have faith in you truly. Your safety and happiness are my first concerns. I love you for always, forever my baby you’ll be.

Mama

Materials Used: K-Ology Scrap Pad To Go, Marcella by K Ancestry swirl & brackets, prima flowers, cut out flowers from other scrap papers, glue dots, buttons, bling

About me:

an inexperienced mom to a teen-age girl. More about who I am: Time Capsules, My Thoughts Exactly, CraftFairy's Scrappenings
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